The unofficial smilie dictionary

:-)
Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
;-)
Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark. More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
:-(
Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset or depressed about something.
:-I
Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as good as a happy smilie
:->
User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
>:->
User just made a really devilish remark.
>;->
Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.


Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:

(-:
User is left handed
%-)
User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
:*)
User is drunk
[:]
User is a robot
8-)
User is wearing sunglasses
B:-)
Sunglasses on head
::-)
User wears normal glasses
B-)
User wears horn-rimmed glasses
:-{)
User has a mustache
:-{}
User wears lipstick
{:-)
User wears a toupee
}:-(
Toupee in an updraft
:-[
User is a Vampire
:-E
Bucktoothed vampire
:-F
Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-7
User just made a wry statement
:-*
User just ate something sour
:-)~
User drools
:-~)
User has a cold
:'-(
User is crying
:'-)
User is so happy, s/he is crying
:-@
User is screaming
:-#
User wears braces
:^)
User has a broken nose
:v)
User has a broken nose, but it's the other way
:_)
User's nose is sliding off of his face
=:-)
User is a hosehead
-:-)
User is a punk rocker
-:-(
(real punk rockers don't smile)
:=)
User has two noses
+-:-)
User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
`:-)
User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
,:-)
Same thing...other side
|-I
User is asleep
|-O
User is yawning/snoring
:-Q
User is a smoker
:-?
User smokes a pipe
O-)
Megaton Man On Patrol! (or else, user is a scuba diver)
O :-)
User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-P
Nyahhhh!
:-S
User just made an incoherent statement
:-D
User is laughing (at you!)
:-X
User's lips are sealed
:-C
User is really bummed
C=:-)
User is a chef
@=
User is pro-nuclear war
(8-o
It's Mr. Bill!
*:o)
And Bozo the Clown!
3:]
Pet smilie
3:[
Mean Pet smilie
d8=
Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.
E-:-)
User is a Ham radio operator
:-9
User is licking his/her lips
%-6
User is braindead
[:-)
User is wearing a walkman
(:I
User is an egghead
@:-)
User is wearing a turban
:-0
No Yelling! (Quiet Lab)
:-:
Mutant Smilie
 
The invisible smilie
.-)
User only has one eye
,-)
Ditto...but he's winking
X-(
User just died
8 :-)
User is a wizard
C=}>;*{))
Mega-Smilie... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin